Bento #111: Hummus and Rye Crackers

Citizens, We love hummus.  And gosh, but We love those dang rye crackers!  You know the ones--they're fiber-tastic.

So here is hummus, rye crackers, carrots, plum, and a cookie that both neatly fills the little space and fills the dessert-shaped hole in Our soul.

This is Extra-Garlicky Hummus:

• 1 can chickpeas, drained, liquid reserved
• 1 1/2 T. lemon juice
• 1 1/2 T. tahini
• 1 T. soy sauce
• 1 T. olive oil
• garlic, grated finely.  As much as you can stand!

Put everything but oil and garlic in a blender.  Put oil in a small saucepan and heat.  Add garlic and let it sizzle for about a minute.  Keep a close eye on it.  You want it golden brown, but not burnt.  Burnt garlic is Very, Very Nasty, citizens.  When it's golden, immediately dump it over the cool ingredients in the blender to stop the cooking process.  Blend, adding reserved bean liquid if necessary to make it process.  Eat your lovely garlicky hummus.

Bento #110: Chutney and Cheese

Nothing exciting to see here.  Sandwich on Kingdom bread, carrots, apple.

The sandwich innards are chutney and cheese.  Mmm, chutney and cheese.  One of Our favorite combos, to be sure.

We are so overcome by Our love of chutney that We meant to give  you the recipe for the plum chutney, but We cannot find it!  Oops.  So instead, We give you the most common chutney We make for sandwiches: Tomato-Pear chutney.

Tomato-Pear Chutney:

• 2 1/2 cups large chunks of tomatoes
• 2 1/2 cups diced pears.  Diced here means like 1/4" cubes; larger than that and your chutney might be sort of chunky.
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (can use regular, but won't be as attractive in color)
• 1/2 cup green bell pepper, diced
• 1/2 cup chopped onion (We sometimes use more)
• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup vinegar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon dry ground mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne (this will not make the chutney spicy.  For spicy, use 1/2 to 1 tsp.)
• 1/4 cup pimiento or other similar mild pepper (optional, or can use more bell pepper, etc.)

Put everything in a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Simmer 45-60 min, or until fruits and veg are softened and chutney is thickened.  This chutney tends to be a little on the chunkier side.  If using pimiento and using canned, add this in right at the end.  For immediate use, pack in a jar and place in fridge.  If wanting to store, pack in sterile 1/2 pint jars and process. Makes 3-4 1/2 pint jars.

Now you, too, citizens, can make your very own chutney and cheese sandwiches!

Bento #104: Must Eat Greens

Lunchtime!  We should not post Our previous lunches so close to Current Lunch Time (it is about 11:30 in the morning) as it is making Us very hungry.

We went (are still going?) through a bit of a "greens" phase.  So here you see the King's basic cooked greens, some steamed carrots, a square hard-boiled egg, and a bit of daikon pickle.  In the back tier is plain short-grain rice with furikake.  In the coffee mug is tea, and there on the left is a chocolate.  One of Our officemates was given chocolates by a student, and he was kind enough to share the love.

So.  First, let Us talk about square eggs.  The square egg was made via a square egg mold, which was given to Us for Christmas by the Dear Friend of the Kingdom, L.  The square eggs are charming and do indeed take up less lunchbox room than an ovoid egg!  Hooray!  Dear L also gave Us Baconnaise, which is both delicious and dangerous and We think that We will have a hard time living without it now, as Baconnaise and egg sandwiches are almost too good to be believed.

Now, let Us talk about greens.  We love them mucho.  Here is how We make them:

• About 1 T. olive oil
• 1 large sweet onion, diced
• Greens, washed and sliced.  Anything sturdy: kale, collards, chard, etc.  Spinach is too delicate for this.
• soy sauce--a couple tablespoons
• rice vinegar--also a couple tablespoons
• red pepper flakes--under about 1/2 t. doesn't really make this "hot," just flavorful.  If you want perceptible heat, by all means, chuck in tons.
• optional: broth, mushrooms, kombu, sweet pepper, sesame oil, anything else that adds umami

Heat your oil in a pan large enough to hold all your greens.  Chuck in the onions and saute.  If you're using anything else that needs softening, like mushrooms or whatever, throw them in now too.  When all your crunchy things are softened, chuck in everything else.  If your greens aren't freshly washed, you may need to add a bit of water or broth.  Steam for about 10-15 minutes if you like them with a little heft left to them; longer if they're overcooked.

Our hands-down favorite way to eat these greens is this: put either some brown rice or a couple of slices of toast in the bottom of a bowl.  Meanwhile, cook an egg sunny-side up.  You're looking for a very runny egg.  When the egg is done, scoop a bunch of greens w/ their broth over your rice/toast, then put the egg on top.  The yolk should run into the greens broth should run into the base and make everything slightly slimy and v. delicious. 

If you use toast, it's kind of like a weird hot greens commerical--which is awesome, as one of the things We miss most about not eating meat, freakishly enough, is the hot commerical, which is delicious and regional to Our childhood and thus carries a huge nostalgia value.

Update:

Blogger is giving Us fits, and We cannot post a comment on Our own blog. #wtf  So here's Our response to Lisa:

That message board was hilarious! And did you note, it mentions Our very own small hometown? Much love for the birthplace of the king! And we can indeed confirm, despite what that one Very Officious Person on the message board says, that Mike's Cafe in Marshall, MN does indeed offer both hot beef and hot turkey commercials. Our very own Queen and Queen Mother eat there about once a week, and they often get the half-commercial, as a whole is quite a lot of food.

And as We understand the history of the commercial, it was meant as economical but filling lunchtime for working dudes, and therefore is supposed to be a lot of good, cheap food for, say, a construction worker. It's an open-faced sandwich where bread is on bottom, then roasted meat, then mashed potatoes, and gravy over all. Generally comes with a side of veg.

Snackbox: Egg 'n Crackerbiscuits

In this snackbox, which was consumed long ago and not quite reported here, We have a hard-boiled egg, two herbed crackerbiscuits, a carot cut into sticks, and a hideously overpackaged prune.  Okay, We're done mentioning it.  We're just saying.

On a more optimistic note, crackerbiscuits!  Once upon a long time ago, while making dinner, We rolled Our biscuit dough too thin.  We cut this thin dough into biscuit-type shapes and popped it in the nice hot oven.  When We checked on our biscuits fifteen minutes later, We thought, hm, this doesn't look right!  We gave it a few minutes more.  Eventually, we pulled the l'il guys out, lest they be burnt.

The result?  Delicious!  Crackerbiscuits are thinner and crisper than biscuits, but sturdy little devils and are soft inside.  If you stab one of the thin edges with a fork, they split nicely into the top and bottom halves, and can be made into little sandwiches or made to work more like a traditional cracker.  Otherwise, spread some soft cheese (or a slice of hard-boiled egg) right on top of the whole deal and have at 'er for a sort of rich toast-like effect.  Crackerbiscuits are excellent w/ soups, by the way; crisp like a cracker, yet they soak up liquid like bread.

Here's how We made these:

Basic Crackerbiscuits

• 2 c. flour
• 2 t. baking powder
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/2 c. vegetable shortening (butter will work but will produce a more biscuity crackerbiscuit; We can only imagine the power of crackerbiscuits made with bacon fat)
• 3/4 c. milk (about--try adding not quite all the milk at first just to make sure)

Preheat the oven to 475.  An absolutely smokin' hot oven is key.  Stir or sift together the dry ingredients.  Rub in the fat.  Stir in the wet.  Knead a few times, just to bring it all together.  Roll to 3/8" or 1/4" thick on a floured board.  Thin is key!  Once they start to get to a half inch thick or more, you're looking at regular biscuit territory now.  Cut into desired shapes--We like squares, both for convenience and because it mentally suggests "cracker," but circles or hearts or whatever will work too.  Bake these for 8-10 minutes, then turn off the oven and leave them inside, door closed at all times, for 5-10 minutes more.  We think this process helps them crisp up somewhat.  This may be Our imagination.

You can put all sorts of good things in your crackerbiscuits.  As suggested before, alternate fats would be good.  We have yet to try olive oil, but We bet it would be good!  These particular crackerbiscuits have about half a teaspoon each of dried parsley, basil, and thyme.  A rich soft cheese rubbed in with the fat might be good.  Pepper is great.  Finely chopped olives and sun-dried tomatoes are really lovely here.  You could put sesame seeds or sea salt or egg wash or whatever you like on top of your crackerbiscuits before baking (butter, while delicious, will make the crust soft, remember!).  Enjoy!

Bento #32: Noodle Stir Fry

We looove this lunch.  It is a veggie and noodle stir fry with chickpeas in the top tier, and grapes and carrots in the back tier.  We did not get to eat this lunch until quite late in the afternoon, as Our students were freaking out about their final projects, and would not leave Our office so We could cram lunch in the royal head.  Sad, because this is a delicious lunch.

It is also a delicious dinner.  Here in the Sneaky Kingdom, We like to mix up a huge pot of something and then eat it all week.  Most often we do this for supper, but sometimes such a thing makes its way into the lunch menu.  Here is how We made this stir fry, which We ate all week long.  NB: you can put whatever veggies you most like into this.  This is just what We had floating around.  For example, this is highly unusual in the kingdom because is doesn't have some form of cabbage in it.

• 1 large onion, sliced into moons
• 1 box mushrooms, any type you like
• 2-3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
• About 1" piece of ginger, grated
• 1 red bell pepper, sliced or cut into chunks
• 1 bunch broccoli, washed, with the stems sliced into coins
• 1 package snap peas, pea pods, whatever's there
• 1 can chickpeas, drained
• 1/2 lb. noodles--soba, spaghetti, rice, whatever you like
• Your favorite soy sauce
• optional: Something spicy, like red chili flakes, Sriracha, Tabasco, etc. or any other flavors you like.  Chopped nuts are great--cashews, peanuts, etc.  The various black bean pastes can be nice, as can something a little sweet like honey and saké to take the bitter edge off if you're not into bitter.  Miso at this point can be really good too, as can curry flavors.  Throw in some interesting herbs like basil or cilantro.  Play around.

Cook the noodles and set aside.  Meanwhile, heat up your biggest wok or dutch oven and throw a little oil in the pan.  We used just canola this time, but if you have some sesame oil (Kingdom's out), a splash of sesame in with the neutral oil is delicious.  When the oil is hot, throw in the onions.  Let those cook a bit, then add the garlic and ginger and cook for just a few seconds.  Next, chuck in the mushrooms.  When those have started to soften, add the broccoli stem coins and the bell pepper.  A minute or two later, add the broccoli florets.  When those have started to green up, chuck in the snap peas.  When the snap peas are nicely crisp-tender, add the chickpeas, the noodles, the soy sauce, and any other sort of spicy/flavoring components.

This is a great one-dish meal--the noodles are a carbohydrate, the chickpeas provide protein, and there's just tons of veggies in here to provide vitamins, fiber, and to fill you up.  We love a stir fry (as our mild obsession with fried rice might indicate).  We think you could do worse for dinner.

Bento #7: TMT

Today, the last of the homemade bread.  We needed to finish it up, so We made what will hopefully be the last in this endless series of sandwiches: a TMT: Tofu, miso, and tahini.  Also in the box: carrots and green bell pepper strips, a blue strawberry of spicy peanut sauce, a tangerine, a few dates, and a Valentine's Day candy for dessert.

TMT Recipe:

1. Press and crumble a block of extra-firm tofu.

2. 1/3 to 1/4 c. each miso and tahini (some people like the same amount, some people prefer more of one than the other--We like about 1/3 c. of each)

3. Add a few tablespoons of finely minced onion, a grated carrot, and about 2 tablespoons of sunflower (or whatever you like--flax or finely chopped walnuts are good too) seeds.

4. Add flavor variations: For spicy, add Sriracha or garlic-chili paste. If you like sweet-salty, honey (if you're not vegan) or maple syrup. If you're not vegetarian, fish sauce. Whatever you like. 

5. Let it all stand together for a little bit--at least an hour, We'd say--and then spread it on bread, crackers, use it as a dip for chips or veggies--it's damn irresistable.

Bento #2: The Kingdom is Bankrupt!

Today we forgot to take a photo of this until we'd eaten half.  This is one of the go-to poverty lunches in our Kingdom.  The beginning of this fiscal year was unstable in the kingdom, so much fried rice was eaten, by royalty and peasantry alike.

Peasant's Fried Rice:

We take a pan and put some canola oil in the bottom--a tablespoon or two.  Then when it's hot we break an egg into the pan and stir like crazy, until the egg is cooked.  We add a bunch of frozen mixed veggies--whatever was cheap at the store (or whatever "fresh" veggies could be found in the scary depths of the Royal Crisper Drawer).  We grate in some ginger, maybe some garlic.  We slice a spring onion and throw the white parts in at this point, but not the green!  Then we add some cold leftover rice, with soy sauce, fish sauce if we're feeling non-vegetarian that day, some sake, maybe some sesame oil.  Whatever's handy.  Then we add in some chopped cilantro, the green bits of the onion, and maybe some garlic chili paste, give it a good stir, and then put it in a box.  Cheap and easy and delicious.

Often, it must be said, the peasants eat their lunches out of common Tupperware--and so does the King. 

You'll also notice that the King sometimes forgets to eat her vitamin at breakfast.  These are also the cheapo nausea-inducing (iron and zinc not buffered for her protection) vitamins.  When the King is richer, she eats fancy vitamins that are OK on an empty stomach, and so if she forgets, she doesn't have to wait until lunch to eat it without barfing.  When the Kingdom is poor, she makes personal sacrifices and so has to wait for a full meal to avoid negative side-effects.  The King sometimes is delicate.

But isn't the King's water bottle pretty?