Bento #102: TMT on Shame

Here, citizens, is the first part of this lunch: TMT on the end of what appears to be whole wheat shame, carrots, celery, and apple.

And here is the second: yogurt and frozen blueberries.  Well, not frozen anymore.  Ah, delcious yogurt.

Dearest citizens, We are sorry that it has taken Us so long to post more springtime lunches.  What can We say?  We were busy. 

In this semester, We stupidly assigned Ourself way more grading than We could keep up with.  We also went to Vegas to visit the Royal Family, We picked up running again, and We have been trying to nail out this prospectus so Our advisor does not light Us on fire.  All of which is to say, that Our dear little lunchtime parade has been neglected.  But this is good for you, as it means We now have a backlog of lunches to show you.  And this is the first.

Bento #100: In Which King Asher Did Not Plan An Awesome Celebratory Lunch

Here is TMT with green onion, carrots as a nice little barrier, Irish soda bread, and an apple.

The soda bread is indeed homemade, but We think it is an error.  We made it because We wanted bread, stat! but did not want to have to knead or fuss about with biscuits.  The result: the world's biggest, heaviest biscuit.  It was okay, but deeply, profoundly dense.  And unfortunately, because of its crumbly-biscuity texture, cannot be sliced super-thin, which is what one does with super-dense bread.  So big hunks of too-dense bread product.  Kind of gross.  Kind of shameful, We think.

TMT, however, will never let Us down.

Bento #84: TMT and Rye Crackers. Also, explanations

Hello, citizenry!  After a long pause, We are back!  Here is Our first lunch of the new year.

It is TMT, which you have seen before, with rye crackers to put under it; baby carrots neatly acting as a divider; a tangerine, a coffee candy, and a little dip cup. What is in the dip cup, you may ask?

Citizens, it is cold out in the Kingdom.  And it's not overly sunny, either.  In fact, for several days running it was rather the Rainy Kingdom.  This makes your King hunger for soup.  But no instant soup was to be had in the kingdom!  What to do?  Well, this.  In the little cup is miso and ebi furikake.  It made this:

The idea comes from dear Maki at Just Bento.  No need for fancy instant soup, she says.  Make your own!  And how was it?  Well, citizens, it was a mixed result.  Hot and wet?  Yes.  Were the sesame seeds particularly delicious?  Yes!  We must now put sesame seeds in miso soup all the time!  Was it, though, awesome?  It was not.  We think this may have been partially because We put in too much water, or partially because it was a very light miso--a darker brown or red miso might do better.  So not a fail, but neither is it yet a resounding success.

And now, for the explanations.  Your King has been absent not because of laziness (though that's certainly happened before, as We fully acknowledge).  Instead, your King was struck down by a Terrible and Virulent Plague!  As you know, We teach at a university.  Let it be said: undergraduates are walking cesspools of infection.  Little ambulatory petri dishes.  And the Royal Physician suspects that it is from these little disease vectors that We caught a Virus.  A terrible, rampaging Virus that has Lingering Effects.  In short, We had something in the same style as mono, where We essentially had the 'flu for about a week and a half, and then took something like 2 months to recover.  During that terrible time, We had monstrous headaches every day, had to sleep about 11 hours a day, and really only had about 5 useful hours of consciousness per day.  We were barely staying afloat, thanks to the assistance of lots and lots of Advil.  In fact, We were taking, at the doctor's suggestion, 4 Advil at a time!  Monstrous handfuls of pills.  On the positive side, We have rarely felt so very much like dear Dr. House.

And truthfully, We are still not back to absolute peak.  We are still prone to tiredness, and still require much more sleep than usual.  But We are much better than before.  We can get Our heart rate above 140 without passing out. We can walk to school, or go use the exercise equipment at the gym.  We can concentrate on something for longer than an hour.  We have not eaten a handful of pills in almost two weeks!  So We are almost mended. 

Nice, proper lunches will help Us achieve full recovery.  So it is Our intention to work extra hard to feed Ourself well, so as to encourage the best possible health.  Prepare to see these lunches!

Meanwhile, next post, expect another roundup.  Just because We were not showing lunches to you does not mean that We neglected to take photos for you.

Fall Roundup: Lunches #65-82

It's been a busy time here in the Kingdom, kids.  Your faithful King has been editing, teaching, grading, running, singing, and just generally trying to keep Her bizniz going.

As the lunch photos stacked up on Our camera, the process of pulling them off became, for some reason, a more and more daunting task.  Each additional photo meant We wanted to do it less.  For some reason, while We love taking the photo and We love posting the photo, the in-between process--the finding the camera cable, the sorting, the tiny bit of editing, etc. became too much.  We despaired.

So finally, in an effort to remedy the problem, We pulled all the photos from the past month and a half.  At once.  Right here.  So, We proudly present you with the Awesome Fall Roundup Extravaganza!

First, the Identical Salad Photos:

This is a delicious salad that We ate frequently while the weather was still hot.  Its basic components are cottage cheese, tomato, cucumber, peas, salt, and pepper.  Delicious and protein-y.

This lunch also had an apple!  So much fiber, so little time.

The gold standard.

Just the peas, please.  We believe that Our fridge was very empty and that We were in a serious hurry that morning.  This is not enough lunch, We know.  Still, better than nothing.

Our friend, M, was having a rough day this day so We walked over to her building and brought her a Diet Coke (which We do not usually drink) and some Combos (which We do not usually eat).  Naughty!  So We finished the Coke with Our lunch.

This lunch, taken at home because transit would surely have shaken up the pretty little pattern, is in a new box the Queen sent Us in the mail!  What a great random gift, Queen!  We love it.  We used it four times in the first week We owned it.  It's a Fit and Fresh sandwich box, with the gel-cool in the lid--but it really comes into its own as a bento box, b/c it's the perfect size.  Hooray!

And now, the Parade of Sandwiches:

Fried egg on Kingdom bread with a banana.  Not very much lunch, but at least it's got protein and whole grains for staying power.

Tofurkey on Shame bread with mayo, mustard, spinach, and tomato.  This was part of Our Vegan-Except-For-Eggs-And-Also-Only-Whole-Grains-Plus-No-Caffeine-But-Tea Cleanse.  It was very effective, and We felt much better about two days into the program.  Sandwich is backed up by apples and carrots.

 The innards!  Gosh, looking at that makes Us hungry.

Just can't get enough stunt meat.  Another Tofurkey on Shame.

We were particularly pleased with this lunch.  The salad is spinach and tomato with a little orange tulip of Newman's Raspberry Vinaigrette.  The sandwich is a fried egg on Kingdom with mayo and mustard.  Then there's an apple.  The cup is green tea--We were at Starbucks, grading.  We were suprised and pleased that the baristas did not get all up ons for Us bringing Our own lunch.

Here is a peanut butter and blackberry preserves on Kingdom, with baby carrots, blueberry yogurt, and a banana.  There is tea in the Santa mug.  Because We are on a serious running training program now, We find that We need food almost constantly or We start to fall down.  So some of the beefier lunches are a result of that.

Now, Rice is Nice!

Ah, rice is nice.  Here's brown rice w/ ebi furikake, tamagoyaki, apple slices, and instant miso soup.  Oh, and a BC Powder, because We had things to do.  And Our head was bad. 

Check out Our not-very-good rolling skillz.  Who cares?  It was delicious.  Check out the Thirsty Bat hovering over the lunch.  Bat want nomz?  Well, too bad!

This lunch was so good it was almost unholy.  Spinach, onion, and tofu stir fry with brown rice and green tea.  Why was this so delicious?  We do not know, but it was one of the most satisfying lunches We had made in a long time.  Bonus: vegan!

Ah, what would the Sneaky Kingdom be without fried rice?  Also, check out Our homemade daikon pickles.  We think We did an okay job.  We will tweak the recipe later.  We also made some righteous pickled garlic, but that is far too pungent for lunch!  It is available only in the Royal Castle, where We will not offend the citizenry with Our Fire Breath of Doom.

Fried Rice and Fried Rice Alone day!

And, the Lunches of Less-Commonly-Used Device:

That's right.  Lentil soup.  Yum!  With a homemade biscuit, apple slices, and coffee candy.

More of the same!  But also with some carrots in there.  We love how the little mushroom guy on the lid of this bowl is so enthusiastic.

This was a weird choice.  We made a squash stuffed with apple slices one day during the Vegan Cleanse.  It was good, but would have been better with butter.  To back it up, there was a hard-boiled egg and some carrots.  This was a little awkward to eat at Our desk, and We got olive oil on Our pants, and then had to teach with Conspicuous Crotch Blots.  The shame!

Okay, there you go, citizens: the King's Fall Lunches.  We hope that you have enjoyed this glut of lunch, you hedonists!  We hope to resume regular posting soon, now that this backlog is no longer hanging over Our head, so please do not think that We have abandoned you!

Bento #56: A Brief Vegan Detox

Here is the same salad, but now with tofu chunks!

When it is hot, sometimes, We want to eat just plain cold tofu.  Mild and cold, it's a nice cooling lunch for summertime. 

Aside from tofu, this salad contains mixed lettuce, spinach, cucumber, tomato, and raspberry-walnut vinaigrette.

Bento #52: Tofu Stir Fry

Holy blurry photo, Batman!  Also, holy "We forgot to take a photo until well after digging in!"

This is tofu and veggie stir fry--spicy, with garlic chili paste.  In the back is kiwi and blueberry.

This was a very light lunch, but We were feeling light.  So it's calorically low, I'm sure, but it was actually very satisfying.  Perhaps the fiber?  We do not know, but it was delicious and exactly the right answer.

Bento #24: TMT and Pudding

Continuing to wade through the lunch backlog, here you see a closeup of a very similar lunch to the one We ate in the science library.  It is not the same exact lunch in material existence, We assure you, because We at this one in Our office, but it's the same lunch concept.  Although, come to thnk of it, there was an apple in that lunch and the pudding was a snack for later.  Either way: TMT on Shame Bread with spinach, carrot bits, and chocolate pudding.  And coffee, because We had not yet had Our catastrophic moment.

More gratuitous pudding shots!  (Ew, We have just grossed Ourself out.)  But We think this one is cool, because if you look closely, you can see a blurry, upside-down image of the King in the bowl of the spoon!  Yes, We Snuck into this picture!  Hooray!  We are so clever.

Back to studying.  We are making a quick "cheat sheet" of poetics.  Anyone care to know anything about Coleridge's Biographia Literaria (a complete mess of a text) or how it prefigures Frost's and eventually people like Olson and Ginsberg's poetics and finally all the way through to LANGUAGE poets by suggesting that the poem, rather than the poet, provides direction for the work, thus establishing (or at least reifying) a tradition where the poet is not the guide/sage/ultimate knower, but rather just a conduit for the forces of language to act upon/through?  No?  No one's interested?  Okay then, We will save it for Our committee. 

Bento #23: King Off the Radar, now with Extra Sneaky

Dearest readers, devoted fans of the Sneaky Kingdom (all two of you--hi guys!), We apologize.  We know that there has been a dearth of lunches demonstrated here lately!  We assure you that no one has been going hungry in the Sneaky Kingdom. We have just gone a little--well, Sneaky--lately, because as We believe We have either mentioned or intimated, We are currently in a PhD program. Next week--TWTr--We will sit our preliminary exams. As a result, We are going quietly and determinedly batshit crazy in the Sneaky Kingdom, and thus almost everything We do on a regular basis that isn't sleep, eat, and read has been taken off the table. 

Allow Us to demonstrate with a lunch vignette:

The lunch itself is hard to see.  However, We assure you that it is nothing you haven't seen before, and you'll definitely see that action again: a TMT on Shame Bread, carrot sticks, and an apple. 

Over on the side there you'll see a tumbler w/ coffee, which is alarming: We are normally a low-caffeine Kingdom over here.  We used to drink crazy tons of coffee.  We used to be the kind of person who gets up in the morning and drinks a Diet Coke while We waited for the pot to perk.  We had a problem.  We did a beverage fast at one point, to get out of it: nothing but water, milk, green tea, and beer--very basic, very little processed drinks.  It was awesome.  We loved it!  We felt so much better.  And that's basically what We still drink--today, for example, We have had three cups of tea (one is herbal decaf and is at Our elbow right now) and water.  Oh, one of the cups of tea had soymilk in it. 

But studying for prelims has meant that, at times, We must be awake with full brainpower ready to go Right Now.  And sometimes that is hard, because We have not been sleeping so well--worry, worry.  Fret.  So We have started drinking coffee.  And abruptly stopped, because Tuesday, We drank too much.  We thought Our heart was going to come rocketing out of Our chest, all Aliens style.  Our resting heart rate is usually about 60 or so, maybe 65.  Tuesday it was 117.  We tried to run the energy off, which has worked in the past with sugar, but may have been a mistake here: We sweated and barfed (!) and generally got very dehydrated and had massive tummy troubles for about two days.  We are done with caffeine!  Whoo.

So here you can see where the cubicle is located: The Library.  Not just any library, but the science library.  We love the science library for its "Shut the hell up" culture.  It is not cool--Not Cool!--to make noise in this library.  Because people are working!  How unlike the main library, which is basically a meat market for undergrads looking for dates, and thus is sort of loud even on the "quiet" floors.  If people want to talk here, even if it's very quiet and just for study buddy purposes, they check out one of those closed, soundproofed rooms. 

While We were there that day, a girl sitting at a table answered her cellphone, which, to her credit, rang on vibrate, and started to talk on it.  After about two or three minutes, a really strung-out looking dude wearing medical scrubs walked over to her.  He leaned down and said something very quietly that We couldn't hear, and then walked away.  When he walked away the girl frowned, gave his back the finger, and hung up his phone.  He glanced over in Our direction and We gave him a thumbs-up.  He nodded grimly and went back to his study cube.  We love it there!

At least there was pudding for a snack. We love pudding but 1) pudding cups are expensive and often taste like plastic, and 2) that goes double for soy-based puddings.  Sometimes milk-based puddings are not cooked puddings but magically-insta-whatever thickened, and they trigger Our gentle milk-straight-up-causes-some-inner-workings-problems issues.  So We make Our own pudding snacks sometimes.  It is easy and delicious!

We have told you this mighty saga in order that you might understand why We have not been posting lately.  Also so that you might understand why We keep eating the same ridiculous lunches over and over.  It is because We are panicky about Our exam.  In fact, We are going off to study right now! 

Bento #12: Tofu and Bell Peppers with Miso

Here is Our lunch all wrapped up in a blue bandanna that We made out of leftover sewing project fabric.  It needs to be wrapped up to contain the stuff that wouldn't fit in the box.  You can also see Our desk behind it--complete with Frank O'Hara's lunch poems.  Oh, how We love you, O'H.  Particularly over lunchtime. 

And here is Our actual lunch.  It's tofu chunks and red bell pepper stir-fried with a miso sauce.  In the tier behind, there's brown rice (no furikake, no vinegar, nothin'!  Boo) and carrots.  A cherry fruit leather fit into the lid of the box, and there's also an apple off to the right.  The little box in front is a pair of short chopsticks that came with Our bento jar.

We have got to go buy something to put on the top of Our rice, stat.  Because We are easily bored, and plain rice is not nearly as delicious as rice with some stuff. 

This was another lunch We did not get to eat until around 3 p.m.  We felt a little off today, as though We were warding off some sort of student-borne plague.  They're all ill b/c they're all stressing out about exams and whether they'll look good enough on the beach over spring break next week--so they're underfed, underslept, plague-ridden, and have been dieting/working out way too much.  We are trying very hard to keep from getting contaminated--but it's hard work.  And not getting to eat until 3 is probably not helping.

Bento #10: TMT and Rye Crackers

Sometimes We enjoy the spontaneity of putting together Our lunch on the spot.  We think it has a picnic feel.  To that end, here is a stack of high-fiber rye crackers, carrot sticks, peanut dip, a tangerine, and a little sidecar of TMT to spread on the crackers.  The box is a minature Pyrex baking dish with a slip-on blue lid.  Not 100% waterproof, but anything of sufficient goopiness won't make it out.  We like glass because it won't leach anything into Our lunch. Sometimes We worry about that.

We totally ruined the healthy good-for-Us effect of this by going to the hippie grocery store about an hour later for coffee--We were tired--and, since we were getting one bad-for-Us treat, sucking down a giant slice of vegan chocolate cake for good measure.  In for a penny, in for a cake.   Mmmmm.

Bento #7 News: The Naughty, Forbidden Lunch

Remember Bento #7?  Lovely TMT sandwich? 

We were bad.  We admit it.  But how were We to know?  We brought that lunch to a bookstore--Borders--to study.  We bought coffee, We plugged in Our laptop, and We settled in to read.  An hour and a half later, We felt rumbly.  We replenished Our coffee, brought it over to Our table, and tucked into Our sandwich.  A few minutes later, the coffee guy who always tells us "There's no more hot water" or "Only two drinks per customer" slyly when We've been studying too hard and are gullible to such maneuvers comes over.  He says that Our lunch is illegal!  We've been doing this there for quite some time.  We suspect he's flirt-lying again.  He says no, that it's always been a rule but that no one enforced it--but said store recently introduced sandwich-y affairs, and so now the manager will kick out people eating Forbidden Outside Food.  He said that he did not care, but to watch out.  We apologized and told him We would make other plans next time.  We finished our lunch furtively.

A nearby lady expressed sympathy, especially as their sandwiches are not cheap.  We sighed that it's worse because We try to be vegetarian, and a good vegetarian sandwich is hard to come by--everyone always just melts cheese over a tomato and expects gratitude.  Her sympathy deepened. 

We are displeased, Borders.  It's not as though We don't buy your coffee and scones!

Bento #7: TMT

Today, the last of the homemade bread.  We needed to finish it up, so We made what will hopefully be the last in this endless series of sandwiches: a TMT: Tofu, miso, and tahini.  Also in the box: carrots and green bell pepper strips, a blue strawberry of spicy peanut sauce, a tangerine, a few dates, and a Valentine's Day candy for dessert.

TMT Recipe:

1. Press and crumble a block of extra-firm tofu.

2. 1/3 to 1/4 c. each miso and tahini (some people like the same amount, some people prefer more of one than the other--We like about 1/3 c. of each)

3. Add a few tablespoons of finely minced onion, a grated carrot, and about 2 tablespoons of sunflower (or whatever you like--flax or finely chopped walnuts are good too) seeds.

4. Add flavor variations: For spicy, add Sriracha or garlic-chili paste. If you like sweet-salty, honey (if you're not vegan) or maple syrup. If you're not vegetarian, fish sauce. Whatever you like. 

5. Let it all stand together for a little bit--at least an hour, We'd say--and then spread it on bread, crackers, use it as a dip for chips or veggies--it's damn irresistable.