Bento #100: In Which King Asher Did Not Plan An Awesome Celebratory Lunch

Here is TMT with green onion, carrots as a nice little barrier, Irish soda bread, and an apple.

The soda bread is indeed homemade, but We think it is an error.  We made it because We wanted bread, stat! but did not want to have to knead or fuss about with biscuits.  The result: the world's biggest, heaviest biscuit.  It was okay, but deeply, profoundly dense.  And unfortunately, because of its crumbly-biscuity texture, cannot be sliced super-thin, which is what one does with super-dense bread.  So big hunks of too-dense bread product.  Kind of gross.  Kind of shameful, We think.

TMT, however, will never let Us down.

Bento #56: A Brief Vegan Detox

Here is the same salad, but now with tofu chunks!

When it is hot, sometimes, We want to eat just plain cold tofu.  Mild and cold, it's a nice cooling lunch for summertime. 

Aside from tofu, this salad contains mixed lettuce, spinach, cucumber, tomato, and raspberry-walnut vinaigrette.

Bento #52: Tofu Stir Fry

Holy blurry photo, Batman!  Also, holy "We forgot to take a photo until well after digging in!"

This is tofu and veggie stir fry--spicy, with garlic chili paste.  In the back is kiwi and blueberry.

This was a very light lunch, but We were feeling light.  So it's calorically low, I'm sure, but it was actually very satisfying.  Perhaps the fiber?  We do not know, but it was delicious and exactly the right answer.

Bento #33: Lentil Burrito Time!

This was a crazy delicious lunch.  This is taco-flavored lentils and sautéed green pepper and onion inside a tortilla, with tomato/spinach salad and oil and vinegar dressing.  Why don't We make this more often?  We now pledge to eat more lentil-taco devices in Our lunch!  The only pity was that the tortilla was tiny taco size, not monstrous burrito size.  Burrito size is for lunches packed.  Tiny Taco size is for suppers home.

There also seems to be a mug of tea of some sort in the background.

Lentil tacos are fantastically delicious and fantastically cheap (though check your packaged taco seasoning for animal broth, or make your own taco seasoning, if you don't want to be eating animal bits, as every now and then you get a seasoning package with animal bits). 

Here in the Sneaky Kingdom, We have a friend who assures us that lentils give her some weird, special sort of pep.  She claims it's the niacin.  We are not entirely sure how to process this phenomenon, which seems a little peculiar to Us.  We are refraining from drawing conclusions--We Ourselves do not experience a "lentil rush."  However, if you would like to experiment, please feel free.  If you wish to report your results to the Kingdom, We would be interested to hear about it; leave a comment below and Royal R&D will get back to you.

Bento #32: Noodle Stir Fry

We looove this lunch.  It is a veggie and noodle stir fry with chickpeas in the top tier, and grapes and carrots in the back tier.  We did not get to eat this lunch until quite late in the afternoon, as Our students were freaking out about their final projects, and would not leave Our office so We could cram lunch in the royal head.  Sad, because this is a delicious lunch.

It is also a delicious dinner.  Here in the Sneaky Kingdom, We like to mix up a huge pot of something and then eat it all week.  Most often we do this for supper, but sometimes such a thing makes its way into the lunch menu.  Here is how We made this stir fry, which We ate all week long.  NB: you can put whatever veggies you most like into this.  This is just what We had floating around.  For example, this is highly unusual in the kingdom because is doesn't have some form of cabbage in it.

• 1 large onion, sliced into moons
• 1 box mushrooms, any type you like
• 2-3 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
• About 1" piece of ginger, grated
• 1 red bell pepper, sliced or cut into chunks
• 1 bunch broccoli, washed, with the stems sliced into coins
• 1 package snap peas, pea pods, whatever's there
• 1 can chickpeas, drained
• 1/2 lb. noodles--soba, spaghetti, rice, whatever you like
• Your favorite soy sauce
• optional: Something spicy, like red chili flakes, Sriracha, Tabasco, etc. or any other flavors you like.  Chopped nuts are great--cashews, peanuts, etc.  The various black bean pastes can be nice, as can something a little sweet like honey and saké to take the bitter edge off if you're not into bitter.  Miso at this point can be really good too, as can curry flavors.  Throw in some interesting herbs like basil or cilantro.  Play around.

Cook the noodles and set aside.  Meanwhile, heat up your biggest wok or dutch oven and throw a little oil in the pan.  We used just canola this time, but if you have some sesame oil (Kingdom's out), a splash of sesame in with the neutral oil is delicious.  When the oil is hot, throw in the onions.  Let those cook a bit, then add the garlic and ginger and cook for just a few seconds.  Next, chuck in the mushrooms.  When those have started to soften, add the broccoli stem coins and the bell pepper.  A minute or two later, add the broccoli florets.  When those have started to green up, chuck in the snap peas.  When the snap peas are nicely crisp-tender, add the chickpeas, the noodles, the soy sauce, and any other sort of spicy/flavoring components.

This is a great one-dish meal--the noodles are a carbohydrate, the chickpeas provide protein, and there's just tons of veggies in here to provide vitamins, fiber, and to fill you up.  We love a stir fry (as our mild obsession with fried rice might indicate).  We think you could do worse for dinner.

Bento 31: Tempeh Sandwich and Salad

Is this the first use of both tiers since We started recording our noms on this blog?  We believe it is! We had a huge evening workout planned, so We made sure to bring enough food to carry Us through.  But We did not want to bring, say, carbohydrates.  So We brought a ton of fruit and veggies!

In this top tier, We have a tempeh sandwich on a homemade bun.  You'll have to trust Us on this--We know you can't see the tempeh, but trust me, it's in there.  It's cut into chunks and then broiled in a Caribbean jerk sauce.  It's one of Our favorite ways to eat tempeh.  Then there's an apple, half a banana, and some grapes.

In the bottom tier, there's a salad of spinach, tomato, and carrot. The little green bird has oil and vinegar. 

As We recall, We ate the sandwich and salad for lunch, and kept the fruit for a midafternoon snack.  It was delicious.  We love to do this sometimes--pack a huge lunch so We have snacks all day long.  It feels self-indulgent and gratifying and tender.  This lunch was an excellent example of that.  Look how awesome We are to Our own self, this lunch says.  Hello, King Asher; King Asher thinks you're great! 

And We are.

Bento #24: TMT and Pudding

Continuing to wade through the lunch backlog, here you see a closeup of a very similar lunch to the one We ate in the science library.  It is not the same exact lunch in material existence, We assure you, because We at this one in Our office, but it's the same lunch concept.  Although, come to thnk of it, there was an apple in that lunch and the pudding was a snack for later.  Either way: TMT on Shame Bread with spinach, carrot bits, and chocolate pudding.  And coffee, because We had not yet had Our catastrophic moment.

More gratuitous pudding shots!  (Ew, We have just grossed Ourself out.)  But We think this one is cool, because if you look closely, you can see a blurry, upside-down image of the King in the bowl of the spoon!  Yes, We Snuck into this picture!  Hooray!  We are so clever.

Back to studying.  We are making a quick "cheat sheet" of poetics.  Anyone care to know anything about Coleridge's Biographia Literaria (a complete mess of a text) or how it prefigures Frost's and eventually people like Olson and Ginsberg's poetics and finally all the way through to LANGUAGE poets by suggesting that the poem, rather than the poet, provides direction for the work, thus establishing (or at least reifying) a tradition where the poet is not the guide/sage/ultimate knower, but rather just a conduit for the forces of language to act upon/through?  No?  No one's interested?  Okay then, We will save it for Our committee. 

Bento #23: King Off the Radar, now with Extra Sneaky

Dearest readers, devoted fans of the Sneaky Kingdom (all two of you--hi guys!), We apologize.  We know that there has been a dearth of lunches demonstrated here lately!  We assure you that no one has been going hungry in the Sneaky Kingdom. We have just gone a little--well, Sneaky--lately, because as We believe We have either mentioned or intimated, We are currently in a PhD program. Next week--TWTr--We will sit our preliminary exams. As a result, We are going quietly and determinedly batshit crazy in the Sneaky Kingdom, and thus almost everything We do on a regular basis that isn't sleep, eat, and read has been taken off the table. 

Allow Us to demonstrate with a lunch vignette:

The lunch itself is hard to see.  However, We assure you that it is nothing you haven't seen before, and you'll definitely see that action again: a TMT on Shame Bread, carrot sticks, and an apple. 

Over on the side there you'll see a tumbler w/ coffee, which is alarming: We are normally a low-caffeine Kingdom over here.  We used to drink crazy tons of coffee.  We used to be the kind of person who gets up in the morning and drinks a Diet Coke while We waited for the pot to perk.  We had a problem.  We did a beverage fast at one point, to get out of it: nothing but water, milk, green tea, and beer--very basic, very little processed drinks.  It was awesome.  We loved it!  We felt so much better.  And that's basically what We still drink--today, for example, We have had three cups of tea (one is herbal decaf and is at Our elbow right now) and water.  Oh, one of the cups of tea had soymilk in it. 

But studying for prelims has meant that, at times, We must be awake with full brainpower ready to go Right Now.  And sometimes that is hard, because We have not been sleeping so well--worry, worry.  Fret.  So We have started drinking coffee.  And abruptly stopped, because Tuesday, We drank too much.  We thought Our heart was going to come rocketing out of Our chest, all Aliens style.  Our resting heart rate is usually about 60 or so, maybe 65.  Tuesday it was 117.  We tried to run the energy off, which has worked in the past with sugar, but may have been a mistake here: We sweated and barfed (!) and generally got very dehydrated and had massive tummy troubles for about two days.  We are done with caffeine!  Whoo.

So here you can see where the cubicle is located: The Library.  Not just any library, but the science library.  We love the science library for its "Shut the hell up" culture.  It is not cool--Not Cool!--to make noise in this library.  Because people are working!  How unlike the main library, which is basically a meat market for undergrads looking for dates, and thus is sort of loud even on the "quiet" floors.  If people want to talk here, even if it's very quiet and just for study buddy purposes, they check out one of those closed, soundproofed rooms. 

While We were there that day, a girl sitting at a table answered her cellphone, which, to her credit, rang on vibrate, and started to talk on it.  After about two or three minutes, a really strung-out looking dude wearing medical scrubs walked over to her.  He leaned down and said something very quietly that We couldn't hear, and then walked away.  When he walked away the girl frowned, gave his back the finger, and hung up his phone.  He glanced over in Our direction and We gave him a thumbs-up.  He nodded grimly and went back to his study cube.  We love it there!

At least there was pudding for a snack. We love pudding but 1) pudding cups are expensive and often taste like plastic, and 2) that goes double for soy-based puddings.  Sometimes milk-based puddings are not cooked puddings but magically-insta-whatever thickened, and they trigger Our gentle milk-straight-up-causes-some-inner-workings-problems issues.  So We make Our own pudding snacks sometimes.  It is easy and delicious!

We have told you this mighty saga in order that you might understand why We have not been posting lately.  Also so that you might understand why We keep eating the same ridiculous lunches over and over.  It is because We are panicky about Our exam.  In fact, We are going off to study right now! 

Bento #14: Lentil Soup in a Mason Jar

Because We do not have one of those fancy soup lunch thermos devices (though We covet it!), We brought our soup to work today in a Mason jar, because it will go in the microwave safely if the metal lid is removed.  We also have a slice of homemade wheat bread, halved, with hummus spread on thinly, apple slices and dates, and a mug of tea.

The soup is crock pot lentil soup, which is absolutely the best way to make lentil soup.  Everything goes all extra delicious in the slow cooker. 

Re: the tea, it is Tazo Zen.  We have a sneaking suspicion it might be something We do not like.  Because last week on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, We had horrible afternoon headaches that forced Us to lie quietly on the couch and avoid thinking heavy thoughts (or indeed, moving at all).  Bad news!  When We thought about what could be occurring, the only new variable We could think of was that the tea bags We bought for the office might be giving Us troubles.  Naturally, everyone We know suggested allergies, but as far as We know, We're not allergic to anything--and We don't have headaches anywhere but the office.  While it's true that the office might have moldier carpet or something, We don't think that's the right answer.  We think it's the tea.  We are considering giving the tea away to someone else who won't be overcome.

Anyone want about ten packets of Potential Headache Tea?

Bonus Snack: Cranberry Grapefruit Vegan Muffins!

We admit it: We love vegan baked goods.  Is it their moistness?  Their sometimes-a-little-denser-than-traditional-baked-goods-ness?  Their not-loaded-with-saturated-fat-that-makes-Us-saturated-with-fat-ness?  Their no-milk-in-Our-milk-free-kingdom-ness?  We are unsure.  But We love them.

We had to be at Our office early early early Friday morning, so a student could take a midterm early.  Like, 7:30.  When We usually get there around 9:30, maybe 10--not that We're not up at 7:30, but We're usually drinking tea and bracing Ourselves to read Our e-mail (which We hate doing; always people needing stuffs in there) at that time.  So We were inclined to believe We might be a little pissy that morning.  Vegan muffins?  Just what We would need.  And indeed, they did help with Our pissiness when the student showed up 45 minutes late.

And all day long, We were a Dispenser of Baked Goodness, a Benificent Carbohydrate King.  So happy to dispense Muffiny Joy!  And?  These muffins are good for the people, because they are made with half whole wheat, half white whole wheat flour; not too much sugar; monounsaturated fat; and raw whole cranberries, so all their cranberry-y goodness is preserved. 

We ate the final muffin with almond butter and a banana for breakfast today.

Bento #12: Tofu and Bell Peppers with Miso

Here is Our lunch all wrapped up in a blue bandanna that We made out of leftover sewing project fabric.  It needs to be wrapped up to contain the stuff that wouldn't fit in the box.  You can also see Our desk behind it--complete with Frank O'Hara's lunch poems.  Oh, how We love you, O'H.  Particularly over lunchtime. 

And here is Our actual lunch.  It's tofu chunks and red bell pepper stir-fried with a miso sauce.  In the tier behind, there's brown rice (no furikake, no vinegar, nothin'!  Boo) and carrots.  A cherry fruit leather fit into the lid of the box, and there's also an apple off to the right.  The little box in front is a pair of short chopsticks that came with Our bento jar.

We have got to go buy something to put on the top of Our rice, stat.  Because We are easily bored, and plain rice is not nearly as delicious as rice with some stuff. 

This was another lunch We did not get to eat until around 3 p.m.  We felt a little off today, as though We were warding off some sort of student-borne plague.  They're all ill b/c they're all stressing out about exams and whether they'll look good enough on the beach over spring break next week--so they're underfed, underslept, plague-ridden, and have been dieting/working out way too much.  We are trying very hard to keep from getting contaminated--but it's hard work.  And not getting to eat until 3 is probably not helping.

Bento #10: TMT and Rye Crackers

Sometimes We enjoy the spontaneity of putting together Our lunch on the spot.  We think it has a picnic feel.  To that end, here is a stack of high-fiber rye crackers, carrot sticks, peanut dip, a tangerine, and a little sidecar of TMT to spread on the crackers.  The box is a minature Pyrex baking dish with a slip-on blue lid.  Not 100% waterproof, but anything of sufficient goopiness won't make it out.  We like glass because it won't leach anything into Our lunch. Sometimes We worry about that.

We totally ruined the healthy good-for-Us effect of this by going to the hippie grocery store about an hour later for coffee--We were tired--and, since we were getting one bad-for-Us treat, sucking down a giant slice of vegan chocolate cake for good measure.  In for a penny, in for a cake.   Mmmmm.

Bento #7: TMT

Today, the last of the homemade bread.  We needed to finish it up, so We made what will hopefully be the last in this endless series of sandwiches: a TMT: Tofu, miso, and tahini.  Also in the box: carrots and green bell pepper strips, a blue strawberry of spicy peanut sauce, a tangerine, a few dates, and a Valentine's Day candy for dessert.

TMT Recipe:

1. Press and crumble a block of extra-firm tofu.

2. 1/3 to 1/4 c. each miso and tahini (some people like the same amount, some people prefer more of one than the other--We like about 1/3 c. of each)

3. Add a few tablespoons of finely minced onion, a grated carrot, and about 2 tablespoons of sunflower (or whatever you like--flax or finely chopped walnuts are good too) seeds.

4. Add flavor variations: For spicy, add Sriracha or garlic-chili paste. If you like sweet-salty, honey (if you're not vegan) or maple syrup. If you're not vegetarian, fish sauce. Whatever you like. 

5. Let it all stand together for a little bit--at least an hour, We'd say--and then spread it on bread, crackers, use it as a dip for chips or veggies--it's damn irresistable.